A Thin Line
by Heather16
Summary: Unrequited love drives the actions of one of Port Charles residents. (Slash)


Title: A Thin Line  
  
Author: Heather Archived: on my site too, the Romantic's Garden Completed: November 12, 2003  
  
Author's Note: This is quite a different story from me. Not quite sure where it came from, but I wrote it, so here it is! More author's notes are posted below. I don't want to spoil it :)  
  
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There was no pain quite like the pain of unrequited love. The pain of loving the one person in the world who would never, could never, love you back. If there was anything in this world that Carly Benson knew, it was this. Because if there was any person in the world that she could never have, it was the one person in the world that she had fallen in love with.  
  
Not since Caroline had she felt this intensity, this depth of love for another person. Caroline, her beautiful, sweet Caroline, taken from her much too early. They'd had so little time together, finding each other in the midst of the chaos and angst of adolescence, only to lose each other after a year. Caroline's death had left her broken, bitter, angry at the world, and the resentment that she had felt over discovering that she was adopted had only intensified. Without Caroline there was nothing but darkness, and negativity, and she had wanted to take it out on the world. So she had. She tore the heart out of her adopted mother, Virginia, destroyed the life of her biological mother, wrecked her step-father's world. She had done it all, but nothing had made the pain and the anger go away.  
  
After Caroline died, she told herself that she would never have that again, that pure, intense, deep love. So she started looking for the opposite, someone to take care of her, someone that she could pretend to herself that she loved, if only a little. It had led her to Tony, to Jason, even to AJ, but not to happiness, not really. There had been no one in this forsaken town that came close to touching her heart.  
  
No one except for her.  
  
Robin Scorpio. Sweet, smart, beautiful, with a natural grace that put people immediately at ease. Robin was just like Caroline, and Robin was the one person in Port Charles that she could never have.  
  
She had felt an immediate attraction to the younger girl the first time they met, and it had irritated her. She didn't want another girl. Her beloved could never be replaced in her heart, and she resented this town angel for stirring up feelings that should be long buried. So she had found herself pushing at the girl each time they met, digging a little, hiding her little secrets with glee and playing her games with Jason and Tony. All in an effort to distance herself from the one person who could make her truly feel again.  
  
But she couldn't manipulate Robin like she could everyone else. Somehow Robin had always been able to see through her games, her lies, even when they had been strangers, connected only by residence. It had increased her attraction for the other girl, to know that there was someone who saw through to the truth inside, but it saddened her too, because she knew the person she was inside was never going to be someone that Robin could love.  
  
So she ignored her feelings, and concentrated on the men in her life, the many men. She slept with Jason, pretended that she was in love with Tony, assuaged her hurt in a one night stand with AJ. But it hadn't worked, none of it. Despite the lies, the games, the other lovers, there was only one person in her heart, and no matter what she did, she couldn't dislodge her.  
  
It had been easier when Robin was in Paris, away from Port Charles, away from her hungry heart. She had been able to put her out of her mind, pretend that she didn't exist. But then Robin came back to town, and everything went to hell. Tony and AJ wanted her baby, Jason was not too happily letting her live with him, and Robin knew the truth about all of her lies.  
  
It angered her, that Robin should know all of her lies, her schemes, the horrible things that she had done. The sense of shame that she felt every time she thought of what Robin knew made her even angrier. Bad enough Robin was completely in love with Jason, bad enough that Robin would never love her the way she needed her to, but to have all of her terrible secrets exposed to the one person whose opinion mattered the most? That was the worst feeling of all.  
  
It made her even more bitter, that knowledge. Seeing the look in Robin's eyes, knowing what she was thinking, how her eyes looked at her with dislike, even pity, it made her want to lash out. So she made her little digs, her remarks meant to draw blood. She went after Robin's man with a vengeance. After all, Jason had once had Robin, and being with him was the closest she would ever get to Robin, so why not? She liked him, even loved him a little, so it was no hardship. She and Jason were more alike then he knew: they both loved Robin Scorpio, and neither one of them could have her. Or so she thought until Robin went back to Jason. It turned out that one of them could have Robin, it just wasn't going to be her.  
  
And she was left with nothing once again.  
  
And in her mind, that little voice grew louder, whispering to her of revenge, of striking out at the one person she loved for not loving her back. So she acted on it, as she always did, until the dislike in those beautiful brown eyes turned to hatred. if she couldn't have her love, she would have her hate, because at least it would be something more then the pale, pitying dislike she was used to.  
  
So she pushed, and she prodded and she schemed, just as always. And there was a bitter sense of satisfaction in her heart as she saw the rift between Jason and Robin grow, as she saw the pain in Robin's eyes get darker. She wanted to shout in triumph in the younger girl's face: this was the person that Robin had chosen over her-the woman who loved her? This man whose love was such a weak and pitiful thing that he would let Carly's games come between them? Couldn't Robin see that she had made the wrong choice?  
  
But she couldn't. Because in truth, Robin had never known that there was a choice to make. Despite her perceptions, her intelligence, her ability to see through the lies and manipulations to the truth, she had never seen through to the one truth that really mattered. The one truth that she had wanted Robin to see, but could never really show her. And because of her cowardice, because she had pushed too hard and wreaked too much, it was a truth that Robin would never know.  
  
So now here she was, standing in front of the woman she loved, torn between rage and despair as she listened to her plead for someone else. She wanted to grab Robin and kiss her and beg her to love her. She wanted to shake Robin and scream at her that no one would ever love her the way that she, Carly, did. But it was too late.  
  
So she raged and insulted and did everything that she could to drive Robin away instead. It was better this way. Robin would be gone and she wouldn't have to see her face anymore, wouldn't have to know that the person she loved was an arm's reach away, loving someone else. It was better for Robin this way too, she was better off far away from Jason. He had never loved her the way that she deserved, not with his whole heart and soul, not the way that she loved her.  
  
It was better for everyone. Robin would start a new life, and maybe now she could too. She could build a life for her and Michael, and the dreams of raising him with the beautiful brown-eyed girl who loved him too would fade. But most importantly the love would fade, because after all, out of sight was out of mind.  
  
Now if only she could make her heart believe that...  
  
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Author's Notes: Yep, a slash story between Robin and Carly! (Well, kind of) Who would have thought it coming from me? I can't even remember where the idea came from. It just came, and I started writing it, and this is what came out. If you look at it from a certain angle, it does explain Carly's resentment towards Robin. All this time, it wasn't because she was jealous of Robin and Jason because of Jason, but because of Robin and her love for her. 


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